Desensitized

Travel has a lot of ups (and downs) and sometimes you have a few seconds to look back and take a second to realize where in the World (no pun intended) you are.Today marks being on the Road for three weeks and heading into our fourth week.Each week has been eventful, let alone each day. They all tend to blend together when I look back at each week. I sometimes have a hard time remember which school was which week. Which students from each school were most interested in doing something. But all around, each school we visit is the amazing in it’s own way.As we left San Francisco today, I was struck with the fact that I was still awed with driving over the Golden Gate Bridge. In just the six days we have been here, we have driven over the bridge probably well over three times a day in and out of our hostel to our presentations and back again. At first, I was Awed, I couldn’t believe that I was seeing, in person, one of the most iconic sights in America. It seemed so Unreal. Then it quickly became the bridge that we had to travel daily to get wherever we were heading, simply a mode of transportation.Then today, as I was leaving our hostel and heading South, I looked out toward the Bay from the mountain and realized that this very well may be the last time that I ever see the Bridge in person. Sure, I would love to come back out here, but I’m not sure if I will any time soon let alone ever.As I drove across, I moved to the right-hand slow lane to drive and look. I looked to the left and there was the Bay Bridge in the distance, Alcatraz, Treasure Island; all with the morning fog and clouds almost lifting but still giving a small shade to the morning. In front of me was the city scape. To my right was the water, where even squinting and searching the horizon you couldn’t see where the water and sky met.I realized I became so desensitized to driving the Golden Gate, to travel. It’s just my way of living in this season.Each week we are in a new place. Each day we speak to hundreds of students. By the time late March and early April come around, we’ll have driven not only up and down the United States, but also across. Something that many have only dreamed of doing. That I dreamed of doing.By the end of this internship I’ll have driven across America twice. It blows my mind, not only how lucky I am, but that I get to call this my job, my life at this moment. Even though I have many more weeks of travel ahead of me, I don’t want to become complacent with what I am doing. I love it, don’t misunderstand me, it is honestly a dream come true. But I don’t want my mentality to switch and no longer be enthralled by the fact that I get to do this.I want to stay amazed each time I get to take the bridge, or I get to see a national monument or even get to speak to students each day.I want to Live in that Excitement, that Awe, that Joy. Here’s to the random adventures that await me at each state and city that we go to. Here’s to the moments of Awe that all I can do is laugh and smile and stare in Disbelieve and Joy that this is my Life.  

Trust and Expectations

Trust. It seems to be a really easy word at first. Do you trust me? Is probably one of the most common questions we are asked or do ask when we see how much we can spill our emotions and feelings to others.Some of you may say yes, maybe we're best friends, confidants. Some of you might think I'm crazy, asking you if you trust a total stranger and some of you may even though you don't know me - all of those are cool, all of those are good, all of those make us human.When I think of trust I think of my parents, friends and mentors. Those people whom I go to to talk things out with, ask for their advice and guidance on situations. I also think of my Heavenly Father.I trust the leadership that is in my life, those at my work and those that help guide me.I trust them.Let me tell you a fun little story about Trust and Expectations:Applying for this internship was a whole bucket of trust. I didn't apply for anything else post-graduation, only this. I was trusting in God that if I didn't get it then there must be a reason. And if I did get it there must be a reason. I got it so obviously a cool reason is behind it.Coming to LA and not yet knowing who my teammate was, I trusted the leadership to place me with the best possible teammate for the road to allow us to reach the most students and help end the global water crisis.When I found out my partner and route, I trusted that we were going to be great together. I trusted that schools would want us to come and speak. I trusted that we would have a fun time on the road together. I trusted that even though we didn't know each other super well that we would get better at communication and learn more about each other. Sure we would face hard times, but I trusted that we would get through it.So when everything got switched around I was a bit afraid to Trust. I'm sure we've all been in relationships or moments that have caused our defenses to go up and not trust those that we're around. It's natural; but we have to be able to grow from those moments.I trust my leadership and I trust their intuitions. I trust that this is for the better.Now, I'm with a completely different teammate. Do I Trust her? Yes. Now, I'm on a completely different route. Do I trust this is where I'm supposed to be? Yes.Now, this internship is more than about me. Do I trust this, do I trust that there is more? Yes. Yesterday in the midst of all the feelings (perhaps there's another blog post in here about crying in public and breaking down expectations; mourning what you thought was going to happen and coming to the realization and acceptance of what is) we hopped in the car and decided to take an adventure, we went to Joshua Tree to watch the sunset.As I stood amongst the trees and rocks and watched the sky change colors from bright blue to the haze of pink, purple and indigo; and the stars started to come out to say "Hello" I realized, once again, We Are Made For More.This internship isn't about me: It's about educating and activating youth on the global water crisis.These changes aren't a reflection of what I can do: It's allowing me more opportunities for growth. I'm not here for me, I'm here for something larger, something so much more than me.I may not have all the words for all of it, but I can explain this:Even when things turn to the gutter, even when you can't fully understand what the heck is going on, Remember there's something more. Something that may not be About you, but Calls you to be more. You're a part of something bigger, greater, and more amazing than you could ever imagine. You just have to Trust.