Trust and Expectations

Trust. It seems to be a really easy word at first. Do you trust me? Is probably one of the most common questions we are asked or do ask when we see how much we can spill our emotions and feelings to others.Some of you may say yes, maybe we're best friends, confidants. Some of you might think I'm crazy, asking you if you trust a total stranger and some of you may even though you don't know me - all of those are cool, all of those are good, all of those make us human.When I think of trust I think of my parents, friends and mentors. Those people whom I go to to talk things out with, ask for their advice and guidance on situations. I also think of my Heavenly Father.I trust the leadership that is in my life, those at my work and those that help guide me.I trust them.Let me tell you a fun little story about Trust and Expectations:Applying for this internship was a whole bucket of trust. I didn't apply for anything else post-graduation, only this. I was trusting in God that if I didn't get it then there must be a reason. And if I did get it there must be a reason. I got it so obviously a cool reason is behind it.Coming to LA and not yet knowing who my teammate was, I trusted the leadership to place me with the best possible teammate for the road to allow us to reach the most students and help end the global water crisis.When I found out my partner and route, I trusted that we were going to be great together. I trusted that schools would want us to come and speak. I trusted that we would have a fun time on the road together. I trusted that even though we didn't know each other super well that we would get better at communication and learn more about each other. Sure we would face hard times, but I trusted that we would get through it.So when everything got switched around I was a bit afraid to Trust. I'm sure we've all been in relationships or moments that have caused our defenses to go up and not trust those that we're around. It's natural; but we have to be able to grow from those moments.I trust my leadership and I trust their intuitions. I trust that this is for the better.Now, I'm with a completely different teammate. Do I Trust her? Yes. Now, I'm on a completely different route. Do I trust this is where I'm supposed to be? Yes.Now, this internship is more than about me. Do I trust this, do I trust that there is more? Yes. Yesterday in the midst of all the feelings (perhaps there's another blog post in here about crying in public and breaking down expectations; mourning what you thought was going to happen and coming to the realization and acceptance of what is) we hopped in the car and decided to take an adventure, we went to Joshua Tree to watch the sunset.As I stood amongst the trees and rocks and watched the sky change colors from bright blue to the haze of pink, purple and indigo; and the stars started to come out to say "Hello" I realized, once again, We Are Made For More.This internship isn't about me: It's about educating and activating youth on the global water crisis.These changes aren't a reflection of what I can do: It's allowing me more opportunities for growth. I'm not here for me, I'm here for something larger, something so much more than me.I may not have all the words for all of it, but I can explain this:Even when things turn to the gutter, even when you can't fully understand what the heck is going on, Remember there's something more. Something that may not be About you, but Calls you to be more. You're a part of something bigger, greater, and more amazing than you could ever imagine. You just have to Trust. 

One Year.

We measure a lot of things by time. Classes, work schedules, distance traveled; all in time. We celebrate many occurrences in time: birthday and anniversaries.This year, I have many things to celebrate as November 25th comes around. One year ago I landed in the JFK airport in New York, New York, United States. Minus a quick layover at LAX, it had been 11 months since I was on US soil and boy was I happy to be home.I remember the day we found out when we would be back in America. We were all called into the house the 30 of us were staying there for big meeting. Some people had already guessed it was for us to know when our flights were but not everyone knew, myself included. When our squad leaders told us, I didn't get it at first until most people started shouting with joy and crying of the impending end of this wonderful journey.My first days back were a blur.My first drive: I was by myself and actually drove on the wrong side of the road in most of my neighborhood.My first breakdown: I had just had dinner and coffee with a friend and got back to my car where there was a thin layer of ice on it. I freaked out, started crying and yelling; I was no longer on the sandy warm beaches of South Africa but in the cold winter of Indiana.My first trip to the store: I wanted to buy enough food for 7 people, since that's what I was used to buying. I couldn't believe all the options and prices. I was a bit appalled.My first day back at school: Didn't happen on the actual first day of classes. A huge snow storm had blown through the night before, I had a panic attack on the drive in and had to turn around. The next day I tried again and made it. It was a blur of remembering how to take notes, talk with people, make small talk, study.This year hasn't been exactly what I imagined it to be when I was on the field dreaming about Home. It was more and less than I expected. I value family and friendships more than I ever have. I make sure to keep promises that I make. I value the words I say and think. I value my time more than anything.I have learned to truly dream once more, like I did in those days when I would sit in my hammock in Costa Rica staring at the fields. I have begun to sing and dance like I did on the rooftops of the Dominican Republic and Guatemala. I have continued to seek the Magical in the Mundane like I learned in Asia.Life is still life. It doesn't stop just because you leave.Crazily enough, I knew this season of coming home was one of Rest. No matter how much I wanted to keep going and traveling Papa was calling me home to Rest in the Nest before I caught flight once more. It's amazing how when we look back at something we see just how much God has been planning since the beginning.As this season of rest is coming to an end, as I count down the last few days of school until I graduate; I am remembering just like a year ago, how much I have learned this year. This year was one full of dreams, boldness, and love.My dreams of Resting came true. My dreams of understanding Home can true. My dreams of putting down Roots came true. Now I am taking my dreams into this next year of being Fully Alive, Being Bold, and Loving like there is nothing to Lose.One Year. So many memories. So much more to come. Remember where you've been, it will guide you to where you will go.