New Beginnings

Have you ever been at a point where you just realize things need to change?

I'm here right now, heck I think I'm the Mayor of this town honestly. I've been living here for a couple of months.

For years I was really good about how I wanted to live my life. I would wake up early, or in between classes at school I would spend time with Jesus. I wanted my days to revolve around Him, but more importantly start with Him. While I was on the World Race, this was easy, it was almost imbedded in how we were supposed to be doing our lives.

I remember days when I would wake up just as the sun was rising, pull on some comfy, warm clothes, head outside with my water, journal and bible and spend the morning with Jesus. Slowly my teammates would wander out too, sometimes a few beat me outside. But every morning started with the Word.

When I came home, it was a bit harder to start my days like this. It was snowy and cold outside and I wasn't about to go out there just to do a devotional. (I barely made it outside when I had to go to work or school.)

Recently, it's been even harder to start my days in the Word. I'm living at home, I work most mornings either at 4:30AM or 6AM and can't fathom getting up that much earlier just to read the bible.

This past week, I got to talk with my squad mentor from the World Race. I told him where I was at: what I was feeling and how I just didn't know what to do. We relate on a lot of our attributes; we are both do-ers, we don't like to wait all the time, we are a jack of all trades, yet a master of none, we love options but sometimes we choose the good one, not the great one.

As I told him what was happening in my life and where I felt like I was, basically in a fog, he told me something that I needed to hear: I need to solidify my foundation. The past few years, I have laid my foundation: Who I am in the Lord, What dreams I have, How my days look. But recently I've let other things worm their way into my foundation that should just be hanging on the walls: Netflix, music, resting, drinking, not taking care of my body, mind, or soul.

I need to clean out my foundation, change what's there, refocus, and fill in the cracks. 

This is hard.

This is something I haven't wanted to do.

That is why it's so important.

I'm 24 now (which blows my mind!) but as I look towards the future and what I may want to do, I want to know that my foundation is solid. If I pick up tomorrow and move to some country in Europe or Asia, I want to know that I am solid, that change may shake me but it won't disrupt me.

I want to know that no matter where I am in this world and what I am doing, I remember Who's I am every day and I begin my day with Him.

I want to remember that there is something greater out there for me.

I want to remember that I am only given one body and I need to treat it well, it's temple after all.

I want to remember that I am the only one who can make these changes in my life.

So, today, I begin this change with a new sense of importance. I'm not making any of these changes drastically, because for me and my brain, these changes then become an idol, something that I work towards, over the reasons why.

Today, I start to make more changes. I'm waking up early to spend time with the Lord, I'm going to eat healthier, I'm going to work inward and outward.

If you're here in this beloved town of needing change, let's get a cup of coffee and chat sometime. I've been here for months knowing there's something I need to do but not knowing exactly what or where to start. It's hard friend, it really is. This journey of change is not going to be an easy one. I'm going to fail, I'm going to mess up, but I'm going to keep working towards it still. I'm not going to let one day of messing up determine the rest of my life of staying in this in-between.

You can do it friend, We all can.