It's Been a Year

It’s taken me a while to look back on the craziness that was 2020 and come to terms with everything. If I’m being fully honest, I don’t think it’s a one and done reflection on all that 2020 had in store for us. It was a complete flip-flop of what everyone had come to know. It was completely opposite of what we expected and my year definitely wasn’t an exception.

2020 was rough. 2020 was a challenge. 2020 is in the rearview and will be with us forever.

If you know me, or have been around here for a little while, you know I try and look at the positive of everything. I’ve always been a glass is half-full kinda gal, and I still am. Although, this past year, really challenged me in looking for the positives (which is also probably why it’s taken me so long to write this).

These past few weeks, as 2020 was coming to a close and 2021 began, I started looking back on all that was 2020. The good, the bad, the ugly, the funny.

I moved out! At the end of 2019, I started packing my boxes to move into a new home with my girlfriend and another friend. It was a wild ride making the space our own.

Just a week or so after I moved out, I started a new job! Finally, after 4 years as a post-grad, contemplating graduate school, law school, the school of the world, coffee school; I landed a job in the nonprofit world working in the water sector. Words still cannot describe how much I love my job! It’s intense and challenge, but the reward is amazing. I’m working to bring clean water to those who need it most, and this has been a life long dream. Who would have thought that little ol’ me would enjoy working in Salesforce too!

Last day at Santarossa!

Helloooo NGO world!

As COVID began to hit the states, and everything went into lockdown, I started getting pretty stir crazy. So I decided, with the encouragement of my roommates, to paint more! Pretty much everything was fair game. I started with smaller items like, wooded hooks, outlet covers, light switch covers, and then went towards the walls. It was a blast working on my creative skills in a whole new way that’ll stay on the walls until we paint over them. I also finished my scrap books from my trip with my bestie, Cheyenne, to the UK and Europe!

Painting light switch covers!

We’ve moved on to the wall!

Painting the hooks for coats by the door!

As the stress of life started hitting me in the Spring, I wasn’t sure what to do. I couldn’t see a lot of my friends because of COVID restrictions, or family; I was beyond bored out of my mind at times, so I decided to try something new, barre workouts. I had always wanted to try them but wasn’t sure if I could do them. I didn’t think I had the strength needed, and to be honest, I was scared. I bought a two week free trial with a company, and quickly fell in love. I made time in my day to workout regularly and started seeing results that 20 year old gwen would be dying for! Who knew barre would be so fun and would help me get stronger than I thought I could ever be.

Trying to play chess at home during the work day!

Any time in the sun, is a good time

Nothing like summer sunsets!

Reading by the sunset

Everyday I dream of Surf

Untamed by Glennon Doyle is a must read for everyone.

I spent so much time outside in 2020, it was wonderful! I went on walks, hikes, simply sat outside and read. I read a lot too! It was wonderful. I am so thankful for friends who spent time outside with me. It was wonderful getting back to the basics of just going for walks with your people. It reminded me of being a teenager and your summers were spent riding bikes and walking around from each others houses to the library to shops.

Rachel & I at River Glen

CMP

I found a few new authors that I loved and read as much of their work as I could. I also learned how to play chess! Never thought I could do it because it seemed so complicated, but it’s actually quite fun!

As summer came around, I was able to see some family, which was lovely and fun! I even got to safely, socially distantly celebrate one of my best friends who would soon become a mother. It’s incredible watching friends you’ve grown up with grow into the amazing humans that they are today.

We couldn’t wait to meet you baby S!

The summer wasn’t all fun and games and being outside. Our nation witnessed an amazing social movement of working to bring social justice to our BIPOC brothers and sisters. We were loud, we drew attention from around the globe where others joined us in solidarity, and we worked to make our voices heard. The fight isn’t over, and it doesn’t end in the streets, it come back to our homes where we educate ourselves and relearn our history, one that isn’t whitewashed.

While summer quickly progressed, Abby and I made time for a few small trips here and there, two of which took me to the beach, which made my heart so happy and helped satisfy a bit of my travel bug. We started making our home more ours and I decided that I wanted to fully “come out” to everyone and share about the amazing human who had caught my heart and I had fallen for.

It was incredibly liberating to be able to share who I truly was, nothing in the shadows with my friends and family.

Abby & I at the IMA

While the leaves started to change, a lot of changes happened in my personal life too. I learned more about trust and how hard it is to regain it once it’s been broken. I learned a lot about who’s in my corner and who isn’t. I learned that not everyone who comes into your life, no matter how long they have been there, no matter how much you have been through together, sometimes they’re not meant to stay in your life for forever. I learned a lot about boundaries and how I need to be strong in them and honor them for my own peace of mind and mental health. I learned that even though I want to keep the peace, it’s not on me to accept other’s responsibility. I learned that only time can heal wounds, you can’t rush it, you can’t force it. And sometimes, you need to just sit in them without seeing a way out but holding onto the knowing that the path will come.

Fall is here!

Redecorating our home

Date night!

While 2020 was historic in many ways, one of the coolest moments I will never forget, was when the first woman was sworn in to be Vice President of the United States. Just wow. And I learned a lot from Hilary Rushford about “Loving thy neighbor” and thought about how much Loving first really does matter.

As 2020 came to an end, the reality of COVID set in much stronger with the holidays approaching. I usually love the holidays, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years; they’re some of the best times of the year, full of fun, food, family and excitement. This year’s holidays looked incredibly different than years in the past. Abby and I celebrated our own Thanksgiving together, watching movies all day long and cooking tons of different food. Christmas was spent just the two of us as well and then later on with parents and then later, later on, in January we celebrated with the rest of my family.

2020 was simply put: a lot. I can’t say I was particularly fond of it, but in hindsight, I am really happy I learned so much. Some lessons are harder than others to learn, some lessons hurt more and have more consequences. But I wouldn’t trade where I am for anything, even though there were a lot of rough spots that happened and a lot of tears. I learned just how thankful I am for technology to be able to do video calls with my humans. I’m so thankful for texting and video chatting apps to be able to stay in touch. I’m so thankful to those I can still see in person and hang out with regularly. I’m just truly, thankful.

I knew on New Years Eve that nothing was drastically going to change on January 1st, and here, at the end of February, nothing has really changed, and that’s ok.

I’m learning to love where I am. I’m learning to be thankful where I am. I’m learning to love myself more. I’m learning to make the most of what I have and where I am, and make some small plans for the future (that are hopefully refundable) in case something happens. I’m learning to make time for my humans because you never know when the last time or next time will be.

It’s a strange time to be alive, but I wouldn’t change it for the world.

Here’s hoping 2021 changes a bit more for the better. Here’s hoping 2021 brings more clarity, love, laughter, and relationships. Here’s hoping 2021 is simply, easier.

If you want to hear a little more about how my 2020 was, check out the The View From Her podcast and listen to episode 007: Growing Pains with Gwen.

Happy 2021 friends!