30 Lessons
When I rang in my 29th year in a beautiful, sunny, warm vineyard south of the city, I thought, “Wow, what are you going to bring this year, beauty?” I had no idea what was going to happen in 365 days. I had no idea all the challenges, emotions, growth, joy, and hope that was coming my way.
My year of Saturn’s Return was full of beautiful moments. I made new friends, celebrated holidays with them, got to see my family - three times!! I felt more comfortable and confident at my job, moved into a new home in my beautiful city, made more friends, and celebrated the little moments. It wasn’t always sunshine and rainbows though. There were many days where I felt more overwhelmed than I have in years. I had to fight for myself for diagnoses that I knew were mine to hold, I had to fight for myself in and out of the doctor’s office. I learned to really advocate for myself in my 29th year. I learned how to find gratitude in moments of hardship. I learned how to control my breath and stop a spiral from fully encompassing my body and mind. I learned more ways to love my ever changing body (fun fact, your body goes through a second puberty in your late 20s to early 30s!). I learned how to ask questions when I had them and didn’t know what to do. I learned how better manage my team. I learned how to trust my team and encourage them and help them grow too. I spent more times on the beach and in the water in my 29th year. I read more books, got lost in beautiful worlds, and started to built a new one too. I tried new recipes, didn’t just leave them in my saved folder! I spent hours exploring my beautiful new city.
Check out my recap reel of 29!
Growing up in the 2000s, the media taught us to be ashamed and scared of 30. At 23, when I graduated university, I thought 30 was terrifying. What if I’ve not hit certain benchmarks by 30? What if I haven’t accomplished things by 30? My life is over at 30.
Life doesn’t end at 30. Life doesn’t end at 50. Life doesn’t end at 80. Life begins every single moment of every single day that we have the blessing of waking up. When I got to 28, I wasn’t as scared of 30. It felt like just another year coming up in life, just another year of adventure, love, joy, excitement, challenges.
30 isn’t so scary today. 30 seems exciting! The past few years, since COVID, have truly gone by in an absolute blur. Am I really 30 years old? It feels like just yesterday I celebrated 27, and here I am walking into an entirely new decade.
While my 30 year old and a few hours brain might not be as wise as I will be when I’m 80, I have found some nuggets of wisdom I’d like to share.
Here are my 30 lessons I’d like to share with you:
Be Bold. As you grow older you’ll grow more sure of who are. But, don’t miss our on being bold when you’re young too.
Be Yourself. Don’t minimize who are you to fit around who’s in your circle. If you work on being true to yourself, the people that are meant to be in your life will be there, and those that aren’t will fall away.
It’s ok to ask for help. Honestly, it’s encouraged!! You don’t have to do and shouldn’t have to do everything yourself.
People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. Not everyone is a forever.*
Friendship breakups hurt just as much as romantic ones and that’s ok. It’s been to have loved people, learned from them, and hold their memory tight than to try and force something that isn’t meant to be.
Take RISKS! We grew up kinda sheltered and fearful that one mistake would screw up our entire life. That’s not always true. Talk to the cute guy/girl/human. Date! Take the trip! Fly to that city! Go to that festival. Living your life is worth it, you deserve to enjoy your life.
DATE! Oh my gosh. If you’re reading this and not in a relationship/able to date, do it! It doesn’t have to be serious, it doesn’t have to be a big thing. Get to know people, flirt, have fun! You might meet your new best friend. You might meet your love. You might walk away with some hilarious stories.
If it scares you - do it. Truly. Chances are the things that scare you are the chances/opportunities/experiences that will help shape you.
Your degree is just that it’s a beautiful hardworking certificate that you worked your ass off for. Congrats! You don’t have to chain yourself to it though. If it doesn’t bring you joy, try something else that might.
Take a job that doesn’t make sense. You’ll learn so much and maybe find something new!
Find Hobbies! Maybe they’ll change each month (helloooo neurospicy, hyper-fixation fun!) Maybe they’ll stay the same. Find some, it’s worth it.
Try new things.
Stop taking yourself so seriously. Like come on, you’re in your twenties and not part of the royal family that has to act a certain way. Live it up babe!
Embrace your inner child. Be silly. Dance down the street. Skip instead of walk! Blow bubbles!
Seriously, pack bubbles in your bag wherever you go. They make life better.
Don’t be afraid to ask questions. Be curious, be a forever student. (The saying is true, if one person has a question, others do too.)
Don’t be afraid to share your knowledge! It’s not imposture syndrome, you know your shit.
Talk to someone. Find a therapist. It doesn’t have to be something huge you want to work through. It can just be your day to day. They want you to succeed. They care, and they’re neutral.
Get a handle on your finances. Start a Roth IRA, get your 401K with your company, start a HYSA. PAY DOWN YOUR DEBT!! Don’t spend money that you don’t have.
Go with trends to find what you love and experiment. I’m 30 years old and I love jeans, t-shirts, plaids, and cardigans. That’s my outfit of choice 90% of the time. I also love dressing up! I’m loving wearing dresses, skirts, and blazers. Trends have been so fun to try out and see what works for me. Did I think I’d like crop tops? Absolutely not. Do I? Hell yes! I own more than I thought I ever would! Straight leg pants? Totally didn’t think I’d like them, I grew up on skinny jeans. Now? I adore them!
It’s ok when your size changes. Your body has walked with you each one of your days. When you’re 21, your body isn’t supposed to look like you’re 16. (Btws all those adorable rom-coms that feature young people, high school or twenty-somethings, are actually played by actors by in their 20s and 30s! You will not look like them.) At 30, I’ve grown 2 sizes in less than 2 years. My body is changing and that’s ok… your clothes are meant to fit you, not the other way around. When you grow up and your feet grow, you don’t try and shove your feet into smaller shoes, you just go and buy the larger pair that fit.
Love your body! Don’t wait until you’re 50 to learn how to love your body. Don’t treat it like a project. It’s a beautiful temple that lets you experience life, travel, love, joy, and sadness. Treat it well. Treat it with love.
Take care of yourself. Find a workout that you like! Find ways you enjoy moving your body! Find foods you love. Learn how to my your cycle work for you. Learn how to fill your cup and your love buckets. It’ll be a lot of trial and error and it’s so worth it.
DREAM. Be realistic and shoot for the stars. Anything is possible. You can do absolutely anything you set your mind to. And give yourself grace when things take time.
Travel + Move. you learn so much about yourself when you travel and you get to experience other cultures and ways of life. Don’t just hit the tourist spots, experience where you are. Don’t forget the age old suggestion of moving out of your hometown. There are be more if you want. Getting out on your own, learning to live with others or by yourself, learning a new city to call home. It’s hard, and beautiful.
Life your life for you. Your life is your own. It’s not the life of your parents, grandparents, mentors, partners or best friends. Do what will make you happy, not other people.
Do your best. If at the end of the day you can say you did the best you could - yay! Remember your best might look differently each day.
Advocate for yourself. Whether it’s a raise, a higher salary, your housing, your health - you know what you need. Speak up, fight for what you deserve.
Don’t be afraid of love. It’ll likely sneak up on you when you least expect it and it might look different than you imagined. It’s ok - even good - to love and to be loved. It’s encouraged.
Remembers: it’s a journey and don’t forget to celebrate. Celebrate where you are, where you’ve been, and where you’re going.
In an effort to continue to fall in love with my life and especially my 30th year, I’m making a 30 by 31 Bucket List. Some items on my list are tasks I just need to do, like getting earthquake insurance, oops! Some are bigger dreams like figuring out ways to get back to Europe. All are attainable, with a little planning!
Here’s to 30, I’m excited to meet you!
Thirty Bucket List
Try 2 workout classes
Try a pottery class
Go to at least one professional networking event
Get earthquake insurance
Travel within California - 1x
Fun travel outside of California - 1x
Donate blood
Open a HYSA
Join a choir / go to a choir
Write
Learn more about family history
Go to a wine tasting
Brainstorm/plan a BFF trip
Host at least 2 dinner parties
Take a french class
Create a saving plan for travel
Plan Europe 2024-2025
Find ways to volunteer
Take a breathwork class
Stay + get healthy > take it seriously
Fine tune my style: no shopping months + resale clothes
Go to at least 3 concerts
Learn self defense
Try and build something from scratch
Save $1K+
Learn to bike in the city
Surf 10x
Star/join a book club
Try an online cooking class
Go on a road trip
